Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
It took me forever to choose the name of my blog site. I knew what I wanted to convey to people, but I just didn’t know how to say it. I mulled over names for weeks, with help from friends and family – who probably became very tired of me testing out possibilities on them! For me, the name needed to capture the heart of my journey. Of course, I wanted to express my love of travel and of foreign cultures – my desire to build bridges with people outside the borders of my own town, state and country. Ever since my first trip outside of the United States to Belfast, Northern Ireland when I was 17, I was hooked on travelling. So, Faith Without Borders does mean my faith physically taking me outside of the borders of my home. It also encompasses a faith that transcends manmade and cultural boundaries as well. It means seeing God in the amazing plurality of the cultures of the world.
I also wanted to capture the feeling of freedom and awe that comes with all-out adventurous faith. Exciting faith in the God who so desires to be in relationship with His children, that he sent His only son to set us free. For a long time, I did not live in that freedom. I was scared and anxious about stepping outside of my boundaries, outside of the borders that had been set for me. Not just physical borders, but societal and personal borders. Expectations of who I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing. I had fear of stepping outside of my comfort zone and the life I was leading to seek something more that God had for me. The problem is that I just wasn’t satisfied in the life I was leading.
For me, Faith Without Borders also means stepping out in confidence in the calling that God has for me – wherever it might take me. It means being assured of the faithfulness of God to protect me and guide me wherever the path might lead. It means being on an ultimate adventure with God. It also means trusting that as I delight myself in God, and as I continue to seek him with a faith sans borders, that he will continue to give me the desires of my heart.
I have to admit that, sometimes, this is easier said (or written) than done. These past few months, I feel like I have been in my sweet spot, the place where my passions and desires meet God’s need in the world. It is the place that God desires me to be at a certain moment in time. I feel like I have found that place, both in my journey in seminary and my time in Peru. But, I still find myself having moments where I feel like I don’t know what I am doing. The past couple of days, for instance, have been difficult. My brain doesn’t seem to be working right and Spanish isn’t coming out very easily. I’m missing home – family and friends. I’m wondering about my future. Is God calling me to the mission field full time after I graduate? Will I be able to do it? I’m turning 35 (35!!) on Sunday. Does God want me to head out on mission as a single woman? To be truthful, I woke up this morning thinking that I just couldn’t do it if I had to do it alone.
Having Faith Without Borders is an adventure and it is exciting. There is nowhere else I would rather be. But it isn’t easy. I have questions and I have doubts. I have days where I am not sure what I am doing, or what God is doing. I know that when I choose to follow God wholeheartedly, I can’t assume that it will always be easy. But I also know that, although it isn’t always easy, God is always faithful. My prayer today is that I will continue to delight myself in Him. I pray that I will continue to step out in an adventurous faith, even when I am not sure what that means. And through that, I'm holding on to God's promise to give me the desires of my heart…because He knows my true desires better than I do.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Eyes To See....But Is Seeing Enough?
Last week, I returned from a short vacation in Santiago de Chile. This marked the halfway point of my internship in Lima. Being halfway through something is always an interesting place. It is a time to think about how far you have come in the first half, and where you desire to go in the second half. Certain experiences this past week have made me ponder what I have learned and how I have changed. To be honest, my feelings are mixed. In certain moments, I feel like I have such clear vision of the world and all of its issues, both good and bad. At the same time, within these moments of clarity, I feel extremely confused regarding what to do about the things that I see.
Right before leaving for Chile, I went on my first visit to a section of Lima called Miraflores. I don’t know if Peruvians would consider Miraflores a middle class or upper class neighborhood, but it is one of the nicest areas of Lima. Right away, I noticed certain differences between Miraflores and my community in San Juan de Lurigancho: the air was cleaner, lacking the smell of exhaust fumes and pollution that I have grown accustomed to in San Juan. The streets were clean…no trash on the corners. The level of noise was completely different…gone was the incessant blaring of horns and street vendors calling out their goods for sale through loudspeakers. The parks were green as opposed to the dusty, desert landscape in my community. There were lots of high-end stores (including many American fast food places and coffee shops). Interestingly, even the people looked different. In San Juan, it is not rare to see people in traditional indigenous dress from the provincial regions in Peru. Peoples’ physical appearance is often rich in culture with beautiful dark eyes, hair and skin. The people in Miraflores are beautiful as well, but represent a different cultural entity of Peru –more European or mestizo. With my blonde hair and blue eyes, I didn’t stand out nearly as much. Walking through Miraflores, I felt like I was in a completely different world (and I don’t think I hid it that well as I looked wide-eyed around at everything!)
Fast forward a couple of days to the Lima airport. As I waited for my plane to Chile, I wandered through the airport. Again, I was again struck by the differences from San Juan. There were shops selling artisan goods for extremely expensive prices. I wondered who made them and how much did they get paid? The airport gates were filled with foreigners and those Peruvians that had enough means to travel. I wondered how much of the Peruvian population was able to travel for pleasure? 5%? 10%? Of the people that I know in San Juan, I don’t believe that many have ever travelled internationally, possibly not even nationally. I was well aware that my trip to Santiago for four days was a privilege that many people do not have.
These experiences, these differences, have been so vivid in my mind this week. I can see the inequality so clearly. I see it as someone living in San Juan de Lurigancho and travelling to Miraflores, two very different parts of the same city. I see it as the owner of an American passport, itself a ticket to incredible freedoms and amenities in the world. God has granted my prayer to begin to see the world as He does, but is seeing enough? If I have Kingdom eyes, what about my Kingdom hands, my Kingdom feet and my Kingdom voice? Now that I see these things, what do I have to do about it?
I look at that question, and it just feels overwhelming. What can one person (me!) do in front of enormous problems that seem to engulf the world.
Two days later….
I’m back trying to finish this post. I didn’t know where to go after the line above and I had a sense that I wasn’t supposed to finish the post. So I left it, and now I know why. I spent nine hours on Friday night in a church with fifty people of mixed ages in a vigilia (vigil) until the wee hours of Saturday morning. We sang, we prayed, we played and we talked. Our theme was integral or holistic mission. Basically, we began a journey to discover what it means to truly be on mission for God in our world today. How do we confront the problems we see in our society, the reality of our world, as messengers of the Kingdom of God? What does that even mean? In other words, is it enough to see the reality of the world, or do we need to do something about it?
Friday night’s vigilia reminded me of a few key things:
• Christians are called to be agents of transformation in their communities.
• The Kingdom of God is meant to be started here on earth (as it is in heaven, just like Jesus taught his disciples.)
• We are called not only to believe in the transforming power of the message of Jesus, but to ACT it out – make it a reality.
• The problems and the obstacles that we face may seem overwhelming, but we must have FAITH and HOPE that God will continue to transform our world.
So, I guess my prayer is changing. It's growing. I want to see with Kingdom eyes, but I want my hands, my feet, my voice, my heart, and my soul to be Kingdom-centered. I want to take the next step – to be actively building the Kingdom of God here on earth.
Right before leaving for Chile, I went on my first visit to a section of Lima called Miraflores. I don’t know if Peruvians would consider Miraflores a middle class or upper class neighborhood, but it is one of the nicest areas of Lima. Right away, I noticed certain differences between Miraflores and my community in San Juan de Lurigancho: the air was cleaner, lacking the smell of exhaust fumes and pollution that I have grown accustomed to in San Juan. The streets were clean…no trash on the corners. The level of noise was completely different…gone was the incessant blaring of horns and street vendors calling out their goods for sale through loudspeakers. The parks were green as opposed to the dusty, desert landscape in my community. There were lots of high-end stores (including many American fast food places and coffee shops). Interestingly, even the people looked different. In San Juan, it is not rare to see people in traditional indigenous dress from the provincial regions in Peru. Peoples’ physical appearance is often rich in culture with beautiful dark eyes, hair and skin. The people in Miraflores are beautiful as well, but represent a different cultural entity of Peru –more European or mestizo. With my blonde hair and blue eyes, I didn’t stand out nearly as much. Walking through Miraflores, I felt like I was in a completely different world (and I don’t think I hid it that well as I looked wide-eyed around at everything!)
Fast forward a couple of days to the Lima airport. As I waited for my plane to Chile, I wandered through the airport. Again, I was again struck by the differences from San Juan. There were shops selling artisan goods for extremely expensive prices. I wondered who made them and how much did they get paid? The airport gates were filled with foreigners and those Peruvians that had enough means to travel. I wondered how much of the Peruvian population was able to travel for pleasure? 5%? 10%? Of the people that I know in San Juan, I don’t believe that many have ever travelled internationally, possibly not even nationally. I was well aware that my trip to Santiago for four days was a privilege that many people do not have.
These experiences, these differences, have been so vivid in my mind this week. I can see the inequality so clearly. I see it as someone living in San Juan de Lurigancho and travelling to Miraflores, two very different parts of the same city. I see it as the owner of an American passport, itself a ticket to incredible freedoms and amenities in the world. God has granted my prayer to begin to see the world as He does, but is seeing enough? If I have Kingdom eyes, what about my Kingdom hands, my Kingdom feet and my Kingdom voice? Now that I see these things, what do I have to do about it?
I look at that question, and it just feels overwhelming. What can one person (me!) do in front of enormous problems that seem to engulf the world.
Two days later….
I’m back trying to finish this post. I didn’t know where to go after the line above and I had a sense that I wasn’t supposed to finish the post. So I left it, and now I know why. I spent nine hours on Friday night in a church with fifty people of mixed ages in a vigilia (vigil) until the wee hours of Saturday morning. We sang, we prayed, we played and we talked. Our theme was integral or holistic mission. Basically, we began a journey to discover what it means to truly be on mission for God in our world today. How do we confront the problems we see in our society, the reality of our world, as messengers of the Kingdom of God? What does that even mean? In other words, is it enough to see the reality of the world, or do we need to do something about it?
Friday night’s vigilia reminded me of a few key things:
• Christians are called to be agents of transformation in their communities.
• The Kingdom of God is meant to be started here on earth (as it is in heaven, just like Jesus taught his disciples.)
• We are called not only to believe in the transforming power of the message of Jesus, but to ACT it out – make it a reality.
• The problems and the obstacles that we face may seem overwhelming, but we must have FAITH and HOPE that God will continue to transform our world.
So, I guess my prayer is changing. It's growing. I want to see with Kingdom eyes, but I want my hands, my feet, my voice, my heart, and my soul to be Kingdom-centered. I want to take the next step – to be actively building the Kingdom of God here on earth.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Gift of a Day
Yesterday afternoon, I sat down to catch up on my journal writing. When I opened my journal, I was shocked to realize that I had not written anything since the previous Sunday....a whole week! It honestly did not feel like that much time had passed since I had last written. How do the days pass so quickly, with one activity running into another, so that seven full days pass without even realizing it? No matter which continent I am living on, the daily momentum of life always seems to overrun time to reflect on what is happening. While I struggle with this in the U.S. as well, living in a new culture and city makes it feel even more important to take time to reflect on what is happening in daily life. As a beloved professor of mine wrote to me, "Make sure you write everything down."
So yesterday, after getting over the shock of a whole week gone by, I decided to write down what I could remember of this past week. As I wrote, I realized that each day brought something new and special into my life. Each day had its own story; each day added a different element into my time here in Peru. It was amazing to see how each day was like a clean slate, ready to be filled up by people and conversations; yet each of the days were also connected in a way that they made each other richer, like a growing garden being filled up by more and more flowers...different in color and scent, but each complimenting each other and making the garden fuller and more beautiful.
Each day is truly a gift. To give you a fuller picture of my life in Lima, here are some of the gifts I received last week.
So yesterday, after getting over the shock of a whole week gone by, I decided to write down what I could remember of this past week. As I wrote, I realized that each day brought something new and special into my life. Each day had its own story; each day added a different element into my time here in Peru. It was amazing to see how each day was like a clean slate, ready to be filled up by people and conversations; yet each of the days were also connected in a way that they made each other richer, like a growing garden being filled up by more and more flowers...different in color and scent, but each complimenting each other and making the garden fuller and more beautiful.
Each day is truly a gift. To give you a fuller picture of my life in Lima, here are some of the gifts I received last week.
- Monday: I translated for a US team that presented a workshop on Child Sexual Abuse. The audience of Peruvians included medical personnel, lawyers, and people working directly in communities here in Lima. It was the first time these different groups came together to talk about this topic in a common forum. It was a gift to see this process begin because one of the unfortunate deficits here in Peru is a forum where communities can begin to tackle issues like this.
- Tuesday: This was a holiday in Peru. I finished some much needed household chores, worked out, and then wrote my last update. That night, I popped some popcorn and watched Avatar for the first time. It was a really relaxing day!
- Wednesday: I am helping out at some workshops on Women's Rights, particularly on the topic of Domestic Violence. Today, I taught a short bible lesson on stories in the Bible where God changes peoples' names. Think Abram-Abraham, Sarai-Sarah, Jacob-Israel. The name change always comes after a personal encounter with God as God gives a person a new identity and a new mission. In the workshop, we talked about the words or names that others have called us, or that we have called ourselves; names that are demeaning and untrue. When we encounter God, how does He change this word or this name for us? What is our true identity as children of God?
- Thursday: I was privileged to have a three hour "class" with a friend, Arturo, from the National Office of Paz y Esperanza (where I work). He took me through the history of Peru from the invasion of Spain in the1500s...all the way to the present time as the country recovers from the terrorism of 1980-2000. It was an incredible time of learning and sharing, especially listening to a man my own age talk about his life that is so drastically different than my own. That story deserves a whole separate post.
- Friday: I went out with the team from Paz to a community that they are beginning to register. The community was formed by people who were displaced from their homes because of the internal armed conflict. They moved to San Juan to be closer to Lima in hopes of protection and safety. Now, a law has been passed saying that the government will pay reparations for what happened from 1980-2000. Paz is one of only a few groups that is out on the ground making sure that people know about the law and are registering officially to hold the government to its promise.
- Saturday: I went to a lovely community called Mariategui to help out at a children/adolescent ministry. It is one of my favorite places to be here in San Juan, sharing with the teenagers and playing volleyball with them. Afterwards, I had my first experience with Peruvian nightlife as I met up with some friends to experience a traditional Peruvian pisco sour followed by dancing. One of my favorite things about Latin America is the dancing, so this night was so much fun for me! What a great end to the week.
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